What’s your ‘Phoenix Rising’ moment? Mine’s cancer.
Sure, how much easier it would have been for me to share the news in some long, drawn out poetic verse. But, it wouldn’t take away from the reality.
Biopsies, chemotherapy, tears, radiation, reactions. Initial thoughts and questions that crowded my brain last year when I was first diagnosed. “Will my body stay strong?” … “Will I survive?” … “What will others think of me? … “Will I be rejected because I can’t keep up with the very ones that I am so used to running with?”
Initial thoughts and questions that also quickly dissipated because I wasn’t given too much time to think. Besides — being stuck in disempowering thoughts wasn’t going to help my case. Action. Action. Actions were required of me. Several late summertime trips cancelled last minute because the thing that I had never really thought would happen to me, had in fact, made a grand introduction into my life. And at a time when I felt “I was just getting started…”
Life has an interesting way of flowing at times.
Up to that point in my life, I had always considered myself to be quite healthy. “So where the hell did it come from,” I questioned the doctors and myself as I thought of the common words of several metaphysicists and philosophers: “we create everything in our lives.”
So, besides the pollution in the air and the chemicals in my toiletries, you mean to tell me that I asked for this shit? That I said “alright life, give me everything you got … even cancer!’
Perhaps, my soul did indeed choose this golden chapter for my journey, but I won’t think about it too, too much … I won’t beat myself up … and I damn sure won’t ask the most useless question: “why me?”
Because throughout my entire life, I’ve always asked the question: “why not me?”
So, as I reintroduce myself to the world, I wanted it to be known that I am still very much on my journey, path, and education with this so commonly misunderstood visitor called cancer.
And, that my body is still strong and I know I will do more than just survive.